Lexi is a busy girl: Gymnastics, Soccer, Gymnastics, Dance, Gymnastics, Destination Imagination, Gymnastics, School, Gymnastics, Church, Gymnastics, and more. I can’t believe that she’s almost 8. Where did the time go?
Each of my kids is special to me in their own way. I love them all, but each of them has a special place in my heart for different reasons. Michael is my first born, I’ll never forget the moment the delivery nurse said “dad” trying to get me to take him into my arms. At first I didn’t know who she was talking to. My dad wasn’t in the room. Then I realized that she was talking to ME. I was ‘dad’, and it was an amazing moment. Katelyn was a choice, she was part of the package that came with marrying Loralea. As her dad, it’s special to me, even 12 years later, that I got to make the choice to have her in my life. Jake is the first of the children that are mine with Loralea. Sharing the moment of his birth was fantastic. Emily will always be the baby, and reminds me so much of Loralea that it’s just scary sometimes. In fact, I tried to get Loralea to name her ‘Loralea’ when she was born, but no. As it turns out it would have been a perfect fit: They look alike and have the same mannerisms and personality.
All my kids are special, but Lexi is special in a way nothing short of a miracle. Just a few weeks into the pregnancy Loralea began spotting and we were pretty sure that we had lost the baby. That’s a moment in my life that I can’t put into words. I was hopeless, and yet not. I didn’t WANT to be hopeless, I didn’t WANT to give up, but I didn’t want to hold on to hope, only to be hurt more. Something in me just didn’t want to let go. We cried, we prayed, we talked. It was very difficult, and very painful. After a while, we called the doctor for guidance. I will never forget that moment in my life when he said “I’m afraid you’ve lost the baby”. It was a moment that all my hopes seemed to be gone, but in an instant, just as clearly as I had heard the doctor’s voice, God spoke to me and said “I’m afraid the doctor is wrong.”
Wow. At that moment something inside me changed. It is impossible to describe. For years I’d known the scripture that says “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” It’s Hebrews 11:1, I’d heard it all my life, but at that moment I REALLY understood what that meant. In fact at that moment it went way beyond my understanding, and became a reality to me. In that moment my hope had substance, and my heart had proof. On the outside, nothing had changed. Loralea was still spotting, the doctor’s opinion was the same, he was still giving me instructions. But something HAD changed in me. It was a reality to me.
There’s something spectacular that happens at the moment that your will becomes the same as God’s, when your ‘understanding’ no longer gets in your way, when faith rises up within you and becomes the new reality. In that very moment, miracles happen.